How do I deal with my jealous girlfriend? That is what my friend asked me before I convinced him to give his couple’s life one last chance.
As you know, forming a couple and maintaining it over the long term involves concessions, compromises, and the need to find a certain balance.
Indeed, personal behaviors can lead to tension, imbalance, and a weakening of the relationship.
Some “flaws” then weigh more than others and may highlight a lack of confidence.
That is the case with jealousy, which is always destructive.
So in this article, we will answer these three crucial questions:
- What is jealousy?
- How to overcome such a reflex and handle such a relationship?
- Are there any ways to calm her jealousy, which can quickly develop into extreme and unbearable fears?
What is jealousy?
That is the first question to ask. When we want to face an enemy, we should know it and define it. Thus, we can tackle its weak points. So let’s look at the psychology of a jealous woman. How do we explain her behavior? What drives her possessiveness and propensity to go into conflict when she feels threatened?
First, we can talk about a lack of self-esteem. Jealous persons tend to demean themselves and think of themselves as inferior, hence their inclination not to compete with other people. Inappropriate reactions are then material evidence of a fear of being abandoned or left out.
Once we integrate that, it immediately becomes easier to understand what our partner expects. It is only about proof of love and evidence that she’s the only one that matters and that she can trust us.
Of course, you will tell me that a couple’s relationship is an exchange and that the two lovers must keep a margin in their freedom. That’s okay, as long as you understand the importance of showing respect and flawless behavior to your girlfriend.
The more she realizes that even by being around other girls, you don’t skip her, the less she will devalue herself. It’s a logical, natural process that will end up benefiting you. And, little by little, you will no longer need to be reassuring or prove your attachment.
What to do when you have a jealous girlfriend
A woman who is unsure of herself will not thrive alongside a man who is too independent and makes unilateral decisions without caring about the consequences of those decisions. Again, the issue is not to appear as a completely dominated person, but to overcome, together, the jealousy of your girlfriend/wife.
Certain small reflexes can then allow you to prove your attention and consider this defect of your partner.
The first would then be to open the debate frankly and calmly when you can (avoid doing this when your girlfriend is having a nervous breakdown). Then explain to yourself that this jealousy makes you feel loved, although it is also somewhat burdensome. Tell her that the more she materializes, the less it attracts you to it, which is normal. You only need some trust, which is the foundation of a relationship.
On the other side, try to be well willful in expressing your love and need for growth with your girlfriend. Outside, avoid staring at other women. Also, when you go out with friends, text her to tell her you are thinking of her. That can prove she is present in your spirit even so you are far.
A jealous woman doesn’t want to feel left out. Unfortunately, it is her poor self-image that generates this feeling. It is then up to you to prove to her you are sure of the strength of your relationship, and no way for you to question this, especially for another person. After all, you know what you would lose, but not what you would gain from the exchange.
Traps to avoid when you have a jealous girlfriend
Your role, of course, is to reassure your girlfriend of the affection you feel for her. But don’t let the weight of his behavior overwhelm you, either. She needs to understand that when jealousy becomes abusive and aggressive, that makes both of you on a slippery slope.
For example, and depending on your situation, explain to your jealous girlfriend that most of your customers are women and you sympathize with them only to get contracts, or that you cannot apologize for meetings or team-building activities just because of female colleagues.
While remaining calm to avoid a mess, you can also explain that going out with friends, seeing people, and not being glued to each other all the time allows you to have something to look forward to when you get home.
You could also show that if you understand jealousy, you cannot tolerate it when it goes too far.
Don’t be the person to show your text messages or answer her dozens of calls, only to satisfy her curiosity. You would only encourage her to continue down this path. So, mute her to avoid being hassled, and let her arouse her jealousy alone.
Help your girlfriend overcome her jealousy
The work to be done is mainly a work of self-esteem and personal acceptance. And if you can help, the principal actor is your jealous girlfriend, who must realize that she has nothing to fear and that you love her. Beyond that, there isn’t much you can do. It’s out of the question to lock yourself in your home and stop living simply because your girlfriend can’t stand that you can develop social interactions with women.
Of course, jealousy comes in different forms and to varying degrees. It is essential to talk about it peacefully and openly. You can’t imagine letting your girlfriend rule the day under the guise of losing you. It is up to you to make her understand that, on the contrary, it is this anguish that could cause an eventual rupture.
So if you want to keep your relationship fulfilling, you now know that your goal is to show your jealous girlfriend/wife that she has a lot to offer, that she is teeming with riches to share, and that it is not conceivable for you to leave her. You love her for who she is, and that is the best proof that her jealousy is unnecessary.
Just thinking that she is going to lose you is creating the conditions for an unnecessary conflict. Understanding this, she will surely change her attitude.
It’s your turn, dude!